Monday, May 19, 2008


WOW! A hiatus with no guilt, I wish I could do that at work! Ok, it's early and I'm having a brief quiet moment. Savannah is at cheerleading. Jeff is over at the house he is building and Dalton is having a bowl of sugar packed cereal for dinner and watching cartoons. Yes, thank you, I know I am a WONDERFUL mother. I am so down on myself about that lately. If I had super powers I would fix it, I promise. But I don't, so now I'm just trying to make it through these last few days of school. Well, Dalton has gas and he's not shy. At least that snapped me out of my pity party.

I'm just having trouble keeping up. I'm much better now. I actually used the weekend to do some fun things with my family and clean my house and throw some work ideas around in my head for awhile. Today, I got those ideas out and on paper, got some advice and am trying to start putting them in place. I'm still working on laundry, but I figure I'll be doing that until I'm buried and I finished weeding the flower beds. Now, if I could just tackle the kids rooms, I'd be doing good. My goal this week is to study for this test that I want to take next Thursday and get the pictures in the downstairs hung and out of the living room floor where they have been since last July.

The kids don't know it yet, but since Thursday is the last day of school, Friday they are going to clean out their rooms. I have never decorated them. I bought new bedding and got the basics done when we moved in, but I never hung anything or finished. SO, after they clean them out and Jeff and I finish mulching the beds I just finished weeding, this weekend I am going to finish their rooms. It's already time to have the carpet cleaned. It's a mess.

Those are my goals. We'll see how it goes. I can't go without mentioning this is Idol Finale week! I love David Cook but I won't be heartbroken if he doesn't win. He will be great either way. Dalton just had the nerve to ask me what was for dinner. HA. Since he is close to my size, I guess he is feeling pretty brave these days. Project 125 is going well. I'm actually deviating from my diet and still doing well. I'm not nearly as miserable as I was.

Sorry about my outburst last week. Sometimes, you just can't take anymore and I was there. It was one of those moments where I felt like God had my identity mixed up. I was completely overloaded on every level and didn't have anymore shut and up and fake it smile left. I couldn't have bit my tongue and acted nice if I had tried (and I really tried). Somewhere in all of that, I learned that I needed to quit letting it all pile up. I used to really say whatever I thought. Then I mellowed out a little bit, possibly too much. I'm searching for the happy medium right now. I've learned to be careful who you trust. That was a painful lesson learned but a valuable one. Thank you to those that taught it to me, I hope things go really well for you: ).

It's time to go unload the dishwasher. I think my mom quit. I haven't seen her in days. I'd say she's probably coming home but that would probably jinx it and I won't see her all week. I guess I'm gonna go figure out what to feed this big boy of mine and clean the kitchen back up.

Find your love and share it. It just makes you feel better. I kept mine all in and tried to be really tough for a week or so and it only made me feel bad. The people around me didn't care.
Hug your babies super tight and give them a big smooch. Tell your friends you love them and have a great night.

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