Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
I got my pictures from the cookout on here tonight. Look how much fun these babies were having. Does it get any better than a Cars Slip and Slide?
What good is a southern cookout without a fight breaking out? Don't you just love a huge soaking wet diaper? I miss my babies.
We had a big time in the pool, too. Dalton got his first pretty bad sunburn. Of course, he thinks he's dying but he doesn't have anything on me. I think the whole street is water logged but we sure had a great time.
That's my friend Jenifer and boy am I a DEAD woman when she sees this. We all had a HUGE diving contest this weekend. It was tons of fun. I'll have some pictures of that tomorrow. My camera is too slow. I'm still holding out for my new one. Well, Jenifer got one and she and her husband Art were taking pictures of the dive contest.
All I can say is that until yesterday, I had never done a back flip off of the diving board. I still wouldn't say I can do it, but I have definitely got some bruises to show where I was trying. Can you see them?
Pictures don't do them justice. Apparently, when I do my back flip off the diving board, I land on my shins and inner calf muscles. The problem is, when you've had courage in a cup in the form of Southern Comfort and Mountain Dew, the pain didn't set in until it was too late. Oh well, Mama always said, When you fall off the horse, get your ass back up on it! I did her proud.
It's 10:40 and I've got a load of clothes staring at me to be folded. Everyone else in the house is asleep. I'm having trouble in that area lately. I've got another load of clothes in the dryer and one in the washer. I guess I better shut this down and get back to work. I've got the ole TiVo going again tonight and I am watching Grey's Anatomy reruns.
I hope you had a wonderful day with your friends and family. Have a most excellent week at work and make the most of every minute. You aren't guaranteed another one.
Hug those babies super super tight...tackle them if you have to. Share your love. Today, I told everybody here I loved them when they left. Some thought I was crazy and some said it back. I never say I love you because I want a response. Why do people feel like they have to say it back? I'm not offended if I don't get one back, but I don't want to wake up tomorrow and wish I had said it. That happened with my father in law, and I decided then, it would be the last time.
In The Green Mile, John gives the Boss the "gift" of immortality. In the end, the Boss says he guesses that it is his payback for killing John in the chair when he knew he was innocent. I had those thoughts this week. I feel like everything that is going on in my life is payback for the wrong things I've done and the way I've lived my life. Sometimes I just feel responsible for the bad things that happen. Sometimes I wonder if I'm responsible for my own pain.... I don't know how to explain what my heart feels right now, but that movie hit home tonight.
How 'bout my Mr. Kahne tonight? I'm actually watching it AGAIN on TiVo right now. There is something seriously wrong...it's 12:30 and I'm watching NASCAR and blogging and crying. What a day. Maybe I'm just too tired.
I have been swimming since 11:30 this morning and didn't come in tonight until after 10. My friend Jenifer and her husband and daughter came over today to swim. They talked me into trying out back flips. I can do front ones, and I could do back dives. Until today, I had never tried a back flip. Well after about 25 of them and some serious mess ups, I got it. My legs from the knees down are black and blue, seriously. I'll take some pictures of them tomorrow. I landed on them about 22 of those 25 tries today. I'm a little stubborn and don't like it when I can't do something. I'm a bit of a daredevil. I'll try just about anything. We had a blast! Then we had a street party. We all went down to the end of the cove and cooked out and watched the kids play on the slip and slide. Before you knew it, all the kids were gone and it was just adults sitting around. All of the kids were in my pool. SO, we all came back down here and one by one, every adult got pushed or thrown into the pool in our clothes. We had so much fun. When we got out, the kids were all so tired they were about to cry.
I still have a few things to get planted. I just had too much fun playing with the kids today. Mom got back home tonight. She even got pushed in the pool and ended up swimming for awhile. I'm so glad shes home. I am cooking tomorrow and some more folks are coming over to play. I love being with my friends and family. I miss Jeff's dad. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I know Jeff misses him. He passed away suddenly on July 30, 2005. He had a stroke at home and Jeff found him later that afternoon. He and I had a great relationship. I wish he was still here. He would have been here today and would certainly be here tomorrow if he was still around. I miss him terribly. I hate that my kids don't have him anymore. We was an amazing grandfather. We used to be at ball games and look over and he had snuck up and was over giving Dalton advice through the fence in the dugout.
Sorry about rambling tonight...I'm turning 35 this year and I have decided to have a paint ball party. I have never played but I think it would be a blast. There is a place in Hernando you can play and I want to. I'm ready to get that put together. Jenifer and I decided today that would be awesome fun. She's a great friend. We used to work together, but I left to open the insurance agency and she left when the market crapped out. We don't see each other like we used to, but she will always be a great friend. She and I were on a girl's trip in Nashville when Jeff's dad passed away. We were staying the weekend at the Gaylord Hotel in Nashville and had spent the day at the pool with the cutest cabana boy. Then we had massages scheduled at the spa. We got there and got about 15 minutes into our massages and they came to get me and told me I had a phone call. I knew something was bad wrong. I instantly thought it was my kids. Jeff was on the phone and told me what had just happened. We had to pack up and get home. I think I made record time that night.
Lelania is still at the hospital. She won't leave. I don't blame her. I intended to go see her tonight. How horrible of a friend am I? I'm talking about all of the fun I had and I should have gone to be a friend to her. I talked to her twice. She said things were just the same. She is having to be strong because her family is really struggling. I wish there was more I could do for her.
I don't like that Kyle Busch character. He really bothers me and he has been doing really good lately. Well, I've stayed up so late now, I'm hungry again. I think I have some left over pizza in there. I guess I'll go have a snack since sleep does not appear to be in my near future.
Have a great holiday. I'll get some pics up here tomorrow. Spend time with your family and friends.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Tomorrow, I plan to play in the backyard with the kids. I want to lay out and just relax. Jeff is working until noon and then our cove is having a party for the holiday. They are probably just happy we finally got our yard looking better than a salvage yard. HA. Actually, we still have some work to get it looking better than that.
Mom is supposed to be back home sometime tomorrow. She took the girls up to stay at their house so they would be more comfortable. Mary went home really late last night. She started missing her mom and dad. Lelania spent the night at the hospital again, but Mary was happy to have her dad and brothers. Lelania left for a short time this a.m. and got cleaned up and visited with her kiddos. She quickly returned back to her mothers side. I haven't been since Thursday and plan to go tomorrow evening. Lelania is such a wonderful friend and her family is so dear to me. Seeing her go through this with her mom right now, just really freaks me out. With the news last week the feelings just intensified and became almost unbearable. It has made the time I have with my mom precious and something I will never take for granted. I don't know how I can ever go on without my mom. I never have. She is always there for me. That's where I need her. She tried to tell me today that wasn't the case, but she is wrong.
Sorry no pictures today. I was covered in black mulch from head to toe. I have a few more things to get in the ground tomorrow morning and then I'll take some pictures. We finally had to break down today and pull the truck into the yard. I managed to not throw up. Someday, it will all be pretty. Everything needs to grow a little bigger and needs to be pruned in the fall. I want to add some bulbs this fall and a bird bath. I also want some roses. That's about it for the front and then it will be on to the back. I'm going to have to go tropical out there. It gets the full afternoon sun.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend. Spend time with friends and family and make those moments memorable.
Hug Your Babies and Share Your Love.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Apparently we need at least 4 more of these.
I guess you can tell, I love me some babies! After all of the work in the mulch department tonight, we decided to hire it done. That's great, it gives me more time to play with all of these kiddos!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Here are my cute little feeders!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
I'm just having trouble keeping up. I'm much better now. I actually used the weekend to do some fun things with my family and clean my house and throw some work ideas around in my head for awhile. Today, I got those ideas out and on paper, got some advice and am trying to start putting them in place. I'm still working on laundry, but I figure I'll be doing that until I'm buried and I finished weeding the flower beds. Now, if I could just tackle the kids rooms, I'd be doing good. My goal this week is to study for this test that I want to take next Thursday and get the pictures in the downstairs hung and out of the living room floor where they have been since last July.
The kids don't know it yet, but since Thursday is the last day of school, Friday they are going to clean out their rooms. I have never decorated them. I bought new bedding and got the basics done when we moved in, but I never hung anything or finished. SO, after they clean them out and Jeff and I finish mulching the beds I just finished weeding, this weekend I am going to finish their rooms. It's already time to have the carpet cleaned. It's a mess.
Those are my goals. We'll see how it goes. I can't go without mentioning this is Idol Finale week! I love David Cook but I won't be heartbroken if he doesn't win. He will be great either way. Dalton just had the nerve to ask me what was for dinner. HA. Since he is close to my size, I guess he is feeling pretty brave these days. Project 125 is going well. I'm actually deviating from my diet and still doing well. I'm not nearly as miserable as I was.
Sorry about my outburst last week. Sometimes, you just can't take anymore and I was there. It was one of those moments where I felt like God had my identity mixed up. I was completely overloaded on every level and didn't have anymore shut and up and fake it smile left. I couldn't have bit my tongue and acted nice if I had tried (and I really tried). Somewhere in all of that, I learned that I needed to quit letting it all pile up. I used to really say whatever I thought. Then I mellowed out a little bit, possibly too much. I'm searching for the happy medium right now. I've learned to be careful who you trust. That was a painful lesson learned but a valuable one. Thank you to those that taught it to me, I hope things go really well for you: ).
It's time to go unload the dishwasher. I think my mom quit. I haven't seen her in days. I'd say she's probably coming home but that would probably jinx it and I won't see her all week. I guess I'm gonna go figure out what to feed this big boy of mine and clean the kitchen back up.
Find your love and share it. It just makes you feel better. I kept mine all in and tried to be really tough for a week or so and it only made me feel bad. The people around me didn't care.
Hug your babies super tight and give them a big smooch. Tell your friends you love them and have a great night.
Friday, May 16, 2008
I apologize for the negativity, I'm just human and not all of life is peachy. Life, does however, teach us lessons along the way, and I try to pay attention to what it tells me. I will say though that I'm pretty tired of learning the hard way.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Project 125...oh yeah, I can say that's going well. I'm seeing light at the end of that tunnel and actually wore a pair of pants out of the closet today.
I'm out. Six a.m. seems to come sooner and sooner everyday.
Hug those babies!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Kacy's "Chronicles". This is the best way I have figured out to keep up with my family, friends and even myself. I don't tell my whole life in this blog but I do put things in here that mean something to me or those that I talk to regularly. I miss my friends and family I don't get to see often because there aren't enough hours in the day or because of the miles in between.
I'm tired tonight. Day one of the "The Diet" went well I guess. The food is disgusting but at least I wasn't hungry. Ashley told me Day 3 would be the worst and I believe it. Based on how I feel tonight, my body is going to be pretty angry with me by Day 3.
My cousin has a friend in brain surgery right now from a bad car accident today. L's mom is still in the hospital with no more answers than the day she got there only now she seems to have developed double pneumonia. One of my little guys at St. Jude is at home in isolation which is one step up from the hospital where he and his family spent Mother's Day, but his body is not acting right or cooperating with the doctors right now. Another friend who just began a second type of chemo is having a very difficult time adjusting and is completely wiped out. I need some prayer help. I'm doing my part and would really appreciate anything you might have to offer.
Dalton said he was so brain dead from the MCT's today, there was no way he could make a decision on what he wanted for dinner and found it absolutely absurd that I would even ask him. That 9 year old little turd weighs 93 lbs.
Savannah did about 4 back hand springs tonight all by herself. I missed them. Once again.....mom of the year award! NOT! I wish I could be more, but I don't know how. I wish I could find balance, but I don't know how.
Monday, May 12, 2008
A couple of updates, I've been studying ALL day. That's a good thing. I'm gonna keep at it.
Bunny's ears are still not good. Savannah was an absolute wreck Saturday night. I did the best I could do. I put Neosporin on Bunny's ears and Band-Aids. That's working for now. She just doesn't know what we should do about it. She said the Doll Hospital is out of the question. She will not part with Bunny. So unless I'm going to pack her up and ship her off too (which isn't a bad idea) that is not an option. She doesn't want new ears made because then that wouldn't be Bunny. She is considering a patch on each ear, but for now the Band-Aids are doing the trick. Aren't Band-Aids awesome when you have kids? I don't leave home without them! They can fix anything, including boredom.
Thanks to my dietitian cousin, Ashley, we are entering a new level of Project 125 tomorrow. That's part of why I'm busy tonight. I have a lot of preparation to do. I'm not gonna be in a very good mood for the next two weeks, but hopefully at the end of that time my clothes will fit. Jeff thinks I've totally lost my mind and maybe I have, but this morning I layed in my closet floor and cried. I'm not sure, but I think that's rock bottom (no pun intended). Anyway, once I drug myself up and found something that would fit Notorious B.I.G. I called Ashley. She told me how to do it and let me tell you it's gonna stink! but I'm finally ready. So, after a trip to the Wholesale Nutrition store, and the grocery store (in just a little bit) and my running shoes back on, I'm getting rid of this FAT. I haven't run since the St. Jude marathon. I don't know that I've ever mentioned doing that this past year. I gave up running afterwards. I lost my big toe toenail on my right foot!! That's just nasty. I'll fundraise all day long, but I'm not giving up my toenails. It's about half way back now. I'm gonna have to do some running for the Project but not more than about 4 miles a day.
Keep those prayers coming for Lelania and her family.
I'll try to get a picture of Bunny on here shortly.
Hug your babies extra tight and share your love.
As promised earlier, here is poor Bunny.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I'm not a crier, but have teared up several times today. I've done it thinking about my own children. I've done it thinking about friends and family that have lost their children and I've done it thinking about family and friends that have lost their mothers. I thanked God today for my own children and I thanked him for allowing me to still have my mom. I didn't get to spend much time with her today, because she was with my brother. I decided not to feel selfish, though. After all, she lives here with me. Both of the kids made me awesome cards and gifts at school. Those are always the most special. I even felt like the dogs gave me some extra attention today. While so many of us had wonderful days with our families, I can't help but think about those that struggled through it. When you become a mother, you forget about yourself. Your own feelings and needs are secondary and that lasts for life. I don't like the recognition for something I wouldn't trade for the world. It pains me see those that hurt because they miss their moms. God has a purpose for everything and that includes death. Don't mourn the loss of your mother. If she had the choice, she would go for you any day. I have even thought a lot lately about the death of children. I have been faced with that recently and while I don't understand it, I've turned it over to God. Once again, I believe all things happen for a reason. I don't understand but my faith is strong and even such a tragic loss will not allow me to question that faith. It has proven itself too many times.
Wow, all that really seemed like a downer. I didn't mean to be. I guess several times today, I felt guilty for feeling blessed to have such wonderful healthy children that I can grab and hug and love anytime I feel like it. Dalton made me pancakes this morning all by himself. When I cut into them, batter poured out even though the outside was dark brown. What more can you ask for? I LOVED THEM.
OK, a new task is upon us. Actually, it's an old task. I have to pass a test for work. I've already tried it twice and got within 2 to 3 points from passing but didn't make it either time. This time, I HAVE TO. I started studying again today. The problem is, I know it, I just haven't passed the darn test. SO, here we go again. I'm going to do it this time. I need to look at my schedule tomorrow at work and I'll set the date. I guess we'll have a count down.
ALSO, I'm getting really serious about Project 125. I'm very disturbed about this weight loss thing. I've never done it. Tonight, I was talking to Jeff after my little workout routine and once again got all emotional. I'm frustrated. I know I'm probably lucky to have never dealt with this before and nobody seems to understand my frustration, but that's making it worse. I know I don't look fat but I'm not the right size for me. That weight went on really fast and I didn't even have to work at it. Well, I have been working to get it off and it won't go away. My clothes don't fit and it's upsetting me. I'm not eating the food I want or the food I normally do. I'm exercising and I don't want to and it still isn't going anywhere. Today, I read about all of these quick fixes that I know are bad for me and probably don't work anyway. I'm trying to find my blessings in all of this, but I'm having trouble at the moment.
Since I'm not finding much positive to talk about tonight, I guess it's time to go crawl in bed with Izzy. She's laying here beside my chair staring at me anyway. I guess I'm tired.
Savannah has another field trip tomorrow. She is so excited. She told me today on our little golf cart ride that this was unprecedented. Back to back field trips were just unheard of. She is a nut. Dalton on the other hand, has his work cut out for him. He has the MCT tests this week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I went and got cards for him tonight so his teacher can give him one every morning before the test. They have really been studying hard and reviewing. I'm so proud of both of them. Jeff gets to be the fun parent again tomorrow and go on another field trip. I know that's what you get when you've been at your job for 20 years but I can't help but be jealous. Before my Agency, I could take off and do whatever. Now, I can't. I could, but business would suffer and that's not where I need to be right now. GROW, GROW, GROW. I'm working hard.
OK, now even the cat is screaming at me to go to bed. I honestly have no idea what I'm still doing up.
Hug your babies if you haven't already and share your love. It comes back to you if you do and it might just happen when you really need it.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
If my life depended on him looking at the camera, I wouldn't be here to type this tonight. That child was not going to cooperate in the photo taking today for anything. Believe me, I tried. Here is one of the three of us cousins.....We still hang pretty tight and ALL just had a "little procedure" done by the same doctor. Ashley is about 8 weeks out, I'm about 3 weeks out and poor Rachel is only 1 week out.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Today was trying. I made it through the day and managed to keep some sense of humor, but I am in bed typing this and worn out, not physically but mentally. I'm still in the dark about the outcome of this chaos. Everyday, it seems to go a step further. I held back the tears today but once I was really close to losing it. I'm a tough chick, but gees I'm kinda thinking the Man upstairs has my identity confused with someone else right now. I've been told that He doesn't give us more than we can handle, I keep telling Him I've had enough.
I came home tonight to a pool full of kids again. As I'm typing this, they are all outside on 4 wheelers, golf carts and scooters. What ever happened to the good ole bicycle? I took a picture of the kids in the pool when I got home, but I left the camera in the hearth room and the Notorious B.I.G. is too tired to go get it (yes, I am referring to myself).
A little update on Project 125...Not going so well. I don't know how to diet. I was just cleared to exercise again this week but honestly, don't feel ready. I still have quite a bit of soreness and just don't want to take any chances. I've cut back on what I eat and I have lost some weight but my pants still don't fit. I guess I have about 4 pair that do now. The rest, the hips say no! I watched Savannah's gymnastics lesson yesterday and wanted to get out there with her so badly I could hardly stand it. She's got a really bad case of the fear fairy again. I don't know why. She's doing great and her coach keeps telling her, he's done all he can do. Now it's up to her to throw it. She's been taking 9 weeks tests all week. Dalton has the MCT's next week. They have been reviewing all week and getting tickets for answering questions correctly. The person with the most tickets wins a prize at the end of the day. Dalton won Monday and today. I thought that was pretty good considering at home we have to literally beat him to do any work. He likes to make his teacher proud of him. He thinks she's kinda hot.
That's about all of the excitement I have for the day I think. Thanks for hanging with me even though I was in a bad mood yesterday. I guess it happens to everyone from time to time. I just try to be real.
Have a great night, hug your babies and share your love. (I'm finding mine again.)
P.S. I don't usually mention names on here of friends or anyone other than my husband or my kids but tonight I'm going to and seek forgiveness later. My dear friend and co-worker, Lelania, is having a very difficult time right now and I am asking all of my friends to pray for her. She is an only child and her mother is battling colon cancer. She is currently in the hospital for pain management and diagnostics as well as hydration and nutrition. Lelania's husband travels often and she has 3 marvelous children plus she keeps up with me all day everyday and tries to keep me straight. It is really wearing on her. Please pray for strength for her family and healing for her mother. I love her and her family as if they were my own.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
OK, AMERICAN IDOL......What's up? America actually got the vote right this time and sent Jason home. I was so proud. Now I'm so torn. AND, did you see that Bo Bice. Daughtry is my all time favorite Idol contestant but I will admit, I had a torrid mental love affair with Bo Bice. When his girlfriend turned up pregnant, I thought he did that to me on purpose. I have since recovered but will admit to owning all of his cd's, a signed t-shirt and I've seen him live 3 times and had my picture taken with him. Yes, I do believe the word psycho comes to mind. I know he still wants me but that girlfriend of his just keeps popping up pregnant.
ANYWAY, I couldn't let that excitement get by without a little note.
Good night for real this time.