BEFORE AND AFTER

Well, today, I woke up on a mission!! (That's what Schitzoembolisms do to you.) While I am back in control, it's still there. Let me just get this out. ARTHRITIS AND the TREATMENT SUCKS ASS! BIG FAT DONKEY BUTTS. It sucks to not feel good so you take the meds and you feel better until the side effects kick in and then your mental capacity is SHOT and you think it may be better to go back to the physical pain. I'm a little freaked tonight about some new "issues" that we are just "watching" for the time being. If anybody out there has ever heard of these issues, I beg you, PLEASE tell me. I've shared before that I had to go see a Neurologist because I was having some short term memory problems. Yes, they are manageable, but a little strange nonetheless. My neurologist believed they were caused by the steroid exposure. They were actually getting noticeably better and even though I've been back taking steroids for about 4 weeks now, I'm just now getting back to the point that I'm having to use writing on my hand as reminders. However, some new things have started in the last 8 to 10 days. From time to time, I've had this kind of dizzy confused feeling. I can shake it really quick and it's been okay but its happening a little more often. Here's the part that's bothering me. Two days ago, I ran into the house with my truck. It dented the bumper but nothing major as far as damage it was just the strange feeling I had when it happened. It was like I wasn't in the truck or something. We have a three car garage with inidividual bays and bricks like columns in between each one. I just pulled up in between doors and hit the bricks.....THEN today, Jeff backed the truck into a parking spot and we switched drivers. I made a comment about why in the middle of a busy gas station parking lot did he have to back in a Suburban? He got out and was getting in his car and I put the truck in reverse and popped the whole rear end up on the sidewalk. LUCKILY, I didn't hit anyone OR the gas station. I obviously thought I was going forward, so I never looked behind me. Hours later, I was getting a pair of PJ pants out of my PJ drawer and slammed my fingers in the drawer. I'm talking about the kind of slammed where SavyG had to open the drawer for me to get my thumb out and now my nail is purple. STRANGE. I just feel out of it and a little spatially impaired.

Last week I was busy decorating every old pair of pants I could find. I found these pics tonight and I like this pair. I wore them in Atlanta and got several compliments!!

They were fun to do.

NOW, the unveiling of today's mission. I did a little BEFORE AND AFTER action for you. I decided that it was time to part with all of the clothes in my closet that no longer fit. I've been holding on to some warped desire for my old body to just miraculously reappear and I think that desire is only making me feel worse. I decided to move all of the clothes in my closet that no longer fit into a guest room closet. That way, if I needed more time to come to grips with getting rid of it, I would have it, but it was a step in the right direction. It was one of the most liberating things I've ever done. When I was diagnosed with RA last September, I was a size 4. I had been a 4 for the last 5 or so years. So you know, whatever size you are, depending on the brand and such, you may go up or down a size. While 90% of my clothes were 4's there were some 2's in there and some 6's. NOW, I'm a 10. You see the problem there. There is no way I will ever be a 2 again. I had no business being a 2 when I was a 2. It's time for it to go. Check this out.

MY CLOSET BEFORE....

GUEST ROOM CLOSET BEFORE......

MY LONELY CLOSET AFTER....

GUEST ROOM CLOSET AFTER....

None of that fits me anymore. It makes me sad, but it's time to let it go. I feel like Maverick in Top Gun when he throws Goose's Dog Tags out into the ocean. (I wonder where the hell that came from?)

I was alone doing this most of the day, but Jeff was here when I was moving all of my "cocktail" attire. I got him to snap this picture as an example. I was faced with this all day. I have skirts in there that I LOVE and I used to wear ALL the time and now they only cover ONE butt cheek. This was the top to a pantsuit that I wore to the Homebuilders Christmas Party a couple of years ago. I chose this as an example, because I had to have my mother in law take it up for me so the top would stay up. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? If I tried to put one boob in that thing now, it would bust a seam...

I'm over it. I think I'm gonna check out some consignment stores and see what that looks like. I've got Ann Taylor and Banana Republic Suits coming out of my ears. I can't just give a $400 suit to the GoodWill. I wish I could, but I can't, not to mention, that's a lot of stuff to replace. I need the $$$$. My mother, of course, had to point out that MOST people don't even have what I moved out of my closet and into the guest room. So, I like clothes. You didn't see most of my shoes. I'm not ready to part with those yet. I may not can wear them long, but I can still wear most of them.

Have a great rest of the week. Ours is a little busy. Dalton has TaeKwonDo testing tomorrow night and then Jeff's reunion is this weekend. He bought the whole weekend pass so I guess we are hitting the party scene for the next few days. (I borrowed a dress from my neighbor. THANK YOU MISSY. You are a life saver.)

Peace Out,

Kacy