I didn't mean to be such a Debbie Downer on my last post. I promise I'm not laying around in my pajamas crying or anything. I just needed to share. That pain is there in my heart. My mom called me this morning, though, and said something that I have thought about all day. She read my post and hadn't talked to me in a couple of days. (I was busy yesterday making sure I was ready for dinner for 20.) The first thing she said was, "Are you OK?" After I explained that I was fine, just really sharing a deep feeling, she said, "You know Stuart can talk to you anywhere. It doesn't have to be there." (I hate when things hurt so badly they make you cry.) All day, I have had that on my mind. What is it about that hotel that opens up my heart to hear and feel what I do? Like I said, I don't even have a paranormal meter. I've had a few instances in my life that I know without doubt God was telling me something. You know those moments when the hair on your arms stands up? or when months after you made a decision it suddenly becomes apparent why you blurted out your choice without hesitation? I always felt safe and protected with Stuart. I have an overwhelming sense of security and clarity there. My mom is right though. I slow down when I'm there, I look around and I listen. I don't do that everyday at home. I don't always allow myself time to listen to what God is telling me. Some days I drive to work, get out and am inside and realize that I have no idea "how" I got there. Other days, I see the blooms on the trees and people that I know in the cars. As I get older, I "see" a lot more than I used to. I see other people who maybe "aren't getting older". I guess with age comes an appreciation for little things in life and makes you more aware of how you treat other people. I'm getting WAY off of my intended topic. WHOA, anyway, I've been trying to figure out how to find that little bit of time to open up and hear what I need to hear. A special friend turned me on to Max Lucado recently. I read a great little book, In the Eye of the Storm at precisely the right moment. I was smack up in the middle of that particular storm and it gave me some great perspective. I checked out his website and found a ton of material. I think I linked to it if you click on his name. Somewhere on there, I read about scheduling time with yourself. That seems easy enough. I've been trying. I think I'd have better luck running at a 6 on the treadmill for an hour straight. YEAH RIGHT. If any on you reading have figured out how to schedule time with yourself, let me know how you did it. I just scheduled time with myself for the gym. I was thinking that would be a good time to open up and listen to messages on my iPod or something. I quickly realized that I was so busy sucking serious wind that I hadn't heard a single thing coming from those ear phones. It was a good theory and maybe one day when I'm on the cover of SI this work out thing won't be so hard, but for now, if I don't concentrate, that treadmill is gonna throw me straight off the back and then they would have to call 911 and I do live in a small town and that would just be NO GOOD. So help me, WHERE do I fit it in?
I also had this picture that I don't think needs much explanation...tacky? YES, but it sure makes me laugh.
If I haven't already asked you to pray for a local little girl that was hurt two weeks ago Sunday after the bad storms we had here, I sure meant to. Her name is Madysen and she is BEAUTIFUL. (Click on her name and it will link you to her Caring Bridge site.) I don't know her personally but I know the family of the little girl that was with her when she was hurt.
I'm pretty sure Jeff volunteered our entire family to serve Bar-B-Q tomorrow downtown. Don't freak out, I will have my kids out of there before dark and then Friday we are heading back to Tupelo for another soccer tournament. I heard today the weather is supposed to get nasty again. I don't know what that will do for the tournament. Have a great rest of the week.
SHINE,
Kacy
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