Can't Sleep

OK, so the pics were a special request for Lesli...and I actually did that post with a house full of guests...mom and pop in law, without much thought. I realized tonight at 12:50 a.m. that I didn't "say" all I had to say. I have horrible insomnia. I don't think I've mentioned that here before. I know I have on FB and I've found that many of my friends suffer as well. Everyone raves about Ambien, but I might as well swallow a sweet tart. It doesn't touch this mess I have. I can't explain it really, but it stinks. Some nights I crash...gotta love those...about twice a week. Some nights it's normal, lie down, watch some TV or read a book and fall asleep. The other nights, the lights go out and BOING there is NO way I'm going to sleep. UGGGHHHH, I hate these nights. Those darn sheep jumping over my bed keep me up ALL night. And if I dare take an Ambien on those nights it gets even worse. That is some crazy stuff. I stay up all night long, I just have no recollection of what I did the next day. It usually consists of some serious Ebay spending and omelet making, both of which are dangerous considering I don't know what I'm doing.

It also makes me run into things and I score some interesting bruises.

I had a great day with Savy yesterday. I actually had a really fun week with both kids but seemed to spend a little more time with her for some reason. She spent a lot of time at the office with me. Savannah is wise beyond her years. Things that fly over Dalton's head sink right in with her. When Dalton comes to the office he pulls a chair over by the television and camps out. Savannah jumps right in with the office dynamic, answers the phone, runs copies and faxes, wants to know the background on claims and quotes and how our numbers are looking. She cracks me up and I found myself asking Jeff to drop her off when she got out of school for help. I took her shopping on Saturday to the outlet mall in Tunica. She and I both needed some new undergarments and there is an outlet down there so off we went. We were a sight in the dressing room. We were both sweating and it took MANY tries to find the right size and fit...MANY. We were exhausted when we left. We stopped at Sonic on the way home and refueled. It's probably a 25 minute drive from our house...all highway. We cranked up the iPod and sang Sugarland at the top of our lungs. What a great time to spend with my baby girl. I love you SavyG.

Savannah had soccer practice today so Dalton and I hung back at the house. He is undoubtedly the sweetest boy on Earth. I was chosen to ride the bus with the children on the 5th grade field trip to the Space Center in May (YEA ME?). So Friday I had to go to the school to settle my account. His teacher went on and on about what a sweet child he was. I'm scared one day he's gonna get his little heart crushed. I checked him out of school Friday afternoon and took him back to work with me. He hauled all of the trash out to the dumpsters for us. He also had a special little gift in his pants pocket. It took him a little while to get the nerve to show it to me, BUT HE DID. His special little friend that happens to be a girl and on the approved marriage list, gave him 4 Silly Bandz tied up with a ribbon. He pointed out that the ribbon made it even more special. "Mom, she took the time to cut a ribbon with paw prints on it, and tie these up for me." I just love him. I'm really looking forward to his field trip (and so is he) even if I do have to ride the bus. I'm terrified for him to leave the safe little world of elementary school. I hope he toughens up over the summer.

My weight is driving me nuts, but I was kidding earlier tonight when I said it was producing some all time lows in my life. I hope my sarcasm was apparent. I don't like it, obviously, but it doesn't change who I am. It has actually opened my eyes to a world I never knew before. I still don't really know what a calorie is, but I can assure you they never crossed my mind in the past. See, now I have something new to learn. I am thankful to feel good. No, good doesn't mean perfect like I used to, but good means good and that I can do most of the things I used to do. For that I am thankful. I made a commitment to myself this weekend to do what I can to get as much weight off as I can while I feel good. Hopefully I will feel good forever and get ALL of it off, but if not, that's okay. I just have to feel good about what I do everyday to feel good in the long run.

Well, it's 1:35 now and Jeff is fussing at me in between snores. He hates these nights. Just another reason to get my craft/utility/closet room finished. Jeff ran satellite to that room for me and my big over sized chair and ottoman are going in there too. I can see me spending many sleepless nights in there. Now he is trying to get Izzy to snuggle with him and making fun of my lipstick (lipstain). Savannah took pictures of me with her web cam tonight and changed my profile picture on FB. She said I needed lipstick....???? If you are a FB'r send me a friend request. Especially if you are an insomniac. Maybe I should start a page...I bet there is one already.

Peace out and SHINE,
Kacy